'Marriage material' is in fact, a farce. Now, before you scoff me, hear me out.
First off, I have absolutely nothing against those who are of a different opinion on this, I understand that we all have different and diverse world views which by the way, you can feel free to share with me on the forum button, this is a judgement free space.
However, we live in a society that brings up girls to believe that marriage is a MAJOR MILESTONE in their lives, an accomplishment/achievement right? Interestingly enough, we do not teach boys the same. From hearing ' Wewe kwanza tutaitisha ngombe 50' at almost every family gathering to 'You need to start behaving like a wife now' as soon as you introduce a boyfriend/guy to your family, women are constantly being reminded of how important and fundamental marriage is, sort of like, a basic need and truthfully speaking, it is about time we stopped and broke this cycle.
Do not get me wrong, sure, marriage is and can be a beautiful union but just like our aunt Chimamanda Ngozi asked, '...marriage can be a source of love and joy, but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we do not teach boys the same?'
This may annoy some of you but, I personally think that the term 'marriage material' was coined just to control women's behavior, once again, patriarchy wins. Marriage is a sanctioned institution that will forever continue to benefit men at the expense of women.
Break the cycle that we have been constantly conditioned to believe. For example, traditional gender roles such as the kitchen is a woman's place are going straight to the bin, period. I REPEAT : traditional gender roles such as the kitchen is a woman's place are going straight to the bin. A kitchen is not ONLY a woman's place, any able adult can walk into the kitchen and cook/clean. This is not to mean that you should not fix your partner his favorite meal or whatever but only do it out of love/care and not because society says women belong in the kitchen. So if you don't fit in the marriage material box, don't worry, there is so much to life.
You can truly be yourself and still meet a life partner. There are many different kinds of women, no one “type” is superior to the other. Some women love to cook and be stay at home mommies while others prefer to have a cleaning lady do all the work. There is no template on how a wife/woman should be like.
You are woman enough for the right man.
Thoughts?
Chero